Relationships can be tough, especially when we carry emotional baggage from past experiences. Childhood sexual abuse can be really heavy baggage that impacts our relationships for years in small and dramatic ways unless we heal from the past. Our attachment style and the way we relate to our partners can sometimes be rooted in childhood experiences. These attachment wounds can disrupt our ability to connect with our partners and cause us to experience a range of negative emotions, including anxiety and insecurity. However, with effort and dedication, it is possible to move past these wounds and create a secure attachment in our relationships. In this blog post, we will explore how couples can securely relate in their relationship and heal attachment wounds.

Secure Relating Tip #1: Understand Your Attachment Style

The first step in healing attachment wounds is to understand your attachment style. Your attachment style is a pattern of behavior developed in childhood that affects the way you relate to others. There are three main attachment styles: secure, anxious, and avoidant. Understanding your attachment style can help you recognize your patterns of behavior and how they affect your relationships. If you identify with an insecure attachment style, it is important to learn about it and work on cultivating a more secure attachment.

Secure Relating Tip #2: Be Vulnerable

Vulnerability is a key element in building a secure attachment. Being vulnerable means opening up to your partner and sharing your true self. In a secure relationship, partners can share their fears, doubts, and insecurities without any judgment. When partners feel safe enough to be vulnerable, they create a stronger emotional connection with each other. However, vulnerability is not always easy, and it requires a certain level of trust. It is important to start small and take baby steps towards vulnerability, and trust will gradually develop over time.

Secure Relating Tip #3: Learn to Validate

Validation is the act of acknowledging and accepting your partner’s feelings and experiences. In a secure relationship, partners validate each other’s emotions and feelings. Validation helps create empathy, and it allows partners to feel seen and heard. However, it’s important to remember that validation does not mean agreement. You can validate your partner’s feelings without agreeing with their point of view. Learning to validate your partner’s emotions can help build a strong foundation of trust and understanding.